Let’s have an honest conversation, are you quitting on yourself? Sure, there are times when quitting (on your goals, your job, or your relationship) may cause more harm than you realize, especially to your confidence, but there are times when quitting is absolutely the right decision and can help you move forward.
In general, quitting gets a bad wrap. We hear quotes and comments like “never give up” “I’m not a quitter” “quitting lasts forever” and so forth. The problem is that when these are taken out of context, it makes it seem like quitting is never the right choice when that simply isn’t true.
Quitting doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.
It really depends on why you’re doing it, when you’re doing it, and how you go about it. There are right ways and wrong ways, where the wrong ways are any that end up hurting you more than helping you.
One of the wrong ways people are quitting right now is quiet quitting. If you want to learn more about what quiet quitting is, how it happens, and identify which two types there are, then check out the article here. I say that quiet quitting is wrong because the why, when, and how people are doing it actually causes more harm to mental health instead of achieving the goal of setting boundaries and balance.
Let me stop and highlight three very important things:
- Even though the this trend is focused on the workplace, quiet quitting 100% can happen in your life outside of work. Maybe you’ve quit on your fitness goals; your annual resolutions; your relationships with partners, family, or friends; your development outside of work, etc.
- Taking a break is not the same as quitting. Sometimes people feel bad about taking a break because they think it’s the same as quitting. Sometimes breaks are necessary to reflect, monitor results, adjust our gameplan, or just get a mental break and add self-care into the regimen.
- If you’re having trouble answering this question then perhaps it’s because you’re just now realizing that you’ve been quitting on yourself unintentionally. You’re so drained, resentful, or stuck that you’ve unconsciously started changing your behavior. You don’t see the signs that something has shifted due to the lack of self-awareness that comes with being emotionally unintelligent.
Quitting is just another word for disengaged. You’ve lost interest in the work you’re doing. You don’t see how your actions are leading toward your desired goals. The obstacles you’ve faced are more challenging than you were prepared for, or all of the above.
The simplest way for me to explain when quitting is right vs wrong is in knowing if these feelings above are real or if they’re just a response to your discomfort.
Wrong: Giving up any time you hit a challenge, hurdle or obstacle.
Right: Realizing that something is no longer aligned with your vision, values, or skill set.
Wrong: Giving up the first time you try something without adjusting or testing alternatives.
Right: Accepting that you’ve tried multiple things, multiple times and it still isn’t working.
Wrong: Giving up without a plan, not vocalizing your intentions, and feeling defeated.
Right: Quitting on purpose, reframing your mindset about your goals, creating a plan for next steps, and communicating that effectively.
We all know how quitting can be harmful when done for the wrong reasons, or unintentionally. Lower confidence, slower or no progress, more negative emotions, poor communication, instability, amongst other things.
Let’s talk about when quitting actually helps you:
- By quitting something that is no longer aligned, your time, energy, and resources can focus on something else that is aligned.
- By accepting that it isn’t working, you give yourself permission to let go without losing confidence in yourself or your abilities.
- By reframing your mindset, you manage your emotions well and avoid the guilt, shame, doubt, overthinking feelings from slowing you down.
- By communicating effectively, you’re using your voice with confidence to reaffirm to yourself and others that you made a conscious decision that’s right for you.
- By creating a plan to quit, you set yourself up for success through your next steps.
The truth is, hardships, obstacles, challenges are going to happen as you develop your career, your relationships, and strive to achieve personal goals. If you expect to be happy and feel motivated all the time then unfortunately you’re on the path to quitting (unintentionally, quietly, or on purpose) for the wrong reasons.
If you recognize that you’ve been quiet quitting and are ready to re-engage with your career, your relationships and your goals then let’s talk about how you can change your behavior to set better boundaries and manage emotions for your mental health. If you don’t change your mindset and behavior, you’ll only end up back in this position a few months down the line.
If you’re ready to quit for the right reasons, then let’s work together to create a plan of how to do that successfully so you can move forward and reach your goals faster, with a more positive mindset. Plus, making sure that you’re using your voice with confidence, clarity, and consistency.
I challenge you to take an honest look at your career, relationships, and personal goals and ask are you quitting on yourself?
Does this sound like you, or someone you know? Subscribe to and share my YouTube series on quiet quitting, setting boundaries, and managing negative emotions to help!